The amount of people who reached out to me over the last few weeks to let me know that they were praying for me was truly amazing, I felt very supported by my family, friends, and community! The fact that others were praying for me was really needed as I found it very difficult to pray for myself at this time. I could trust and know that God knew my heart, but to put it into words and prayer just seemed to be something beyond me.
One friend reached out to me the day before Jade was born, letting me know that they were praying for me and asked how I was doing, I was able to respond that I was unfathomably calm, which is something that was coming from outside myself as I could not even comprehend it!
It was an amazing comfort to experience God's love in the little things, the worries of my heart that didn't happen, like we didn't need to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital and Jade came on her due date so I didn't need to be induced or worry an extra two weeks.
Have you ever set up a tool box for a certain task, and then had the satisfied feeling of using every single tool to get the job done? Jared and I have spent the last 9 months analyzing and adding tools to our "delivery tool box" and it turned out to be a very well stocked tool box once it got put to the test.
The labour story in short form:
- Labour started at 4:00am, labored at home for 12 hours, had doula support over the phone.
- Around 3:30/4:00 we called the doula to come to our house. Once she was here Jared brought Hazel to the Schoutens
- 5:00ish we left for the hospital, upon assessment I was 7cm and taken to the labour room.
- I received an epidural and baby Jade was born at 9:35pm, about 4 hours after getting to the hospital.
- Overall things went very smoothly and there was very minimal medical interventions!
And here is the labour story in very very long form:
Labour started at 4:00am on Sunday morning, and I didn't need to wait long to know if it was the real thing or not. I woke Jared to let him know about 4:30, it was really neat to hear how excited he was and was definitely the dose of encouragement I needed at the moment.
I labored at home till 4:00pm, mostly in bed as I could relax there much better than walking. I had support from the doula via text, which was nice knowing I could call her at any time but still be able to try new positions she recommended on our own time. Jared did an amazing job of juggling being by my side during most contractions and keep Hazel somewhat entertained and fed. Contractions stayed long and inconsistent the whole time which is likely why we stayed home so long as they never got within 5 minutes apart till I was settled at the hospital. Around 3:00 the doula suggested I walk around for a bit as I had been in bed for quite a while. Once I was up it quickly became very close to the unmanageable stage and we called the doula to come our house.
When she got here Jared quickly loaded up Hazel's stuff and brought her to the Schoutens. She very happily said "goodbye daddy" and went off to play which was really nice to hear! Once I made it back into bed I was shaking really bad, like shivering really hard, but I wasn't cold. The doula said they were from adrenaline and was able to calm them down with some pressure points.
When Jared returned from dropping off Hazel we started the rather lengthy process of getting me into the car, which was very tricky as one hip muscle had cramped up and seemed to start mini contractions every time I moved. Though the car ride was rather uncomfortable and I had to give a few directions, it was nice to know that some level of pain medication was close at hand. Before leaving for the hospital I had said that we were going to get morphine and go back home or get an epidural. The doula left a bit before us and met us at the doors with a wheel chair, and Jared went to park the car. The original plan was to wait for him and all go up together, but about a minute in I vetoed that plan and the doula and I went on together and left Jared to find his way with all the stuff on his own.
We made it to the maternity ward and got admitted to assessment room one, though this may seem irrelevant, last time we were shown to assessment room two and then sent home, so I was praying for assessment room one, as I knew it would help with the mental side of things. With a lot of help from Jared I finally made it from the chair into the bed, my left leg/hip was still totally cramped up and seemed to trigger a contraction every time I moved it. We soon moved to the "1,2,3 Go" and Jared would just move me. The nurse assessed me at 7cm, Jared was very relieved to not have to go back home, and I was initially nervous as I thought it would be too late for a epidural. That fear was quickly put to rest and the anesthesiologist was called.
With our "1,2,3" system we made it to the labour room, then to the bathroom and then I remember fixing my eyes on the bed as a final destination and slowly but determined made it to the bed. I was very very relieved to finally be at a point where I wouldn't have to move locations anymore!
I was quickly offered laughing gas, and actually used it correctly this time (last time it got taken away because i just kept breathing it, rather then taking breaks between contractions). I think having longer contractions and being able to feel them coming helped as it allowed the laughing gas to kick in mid contraction rather than when it was almost over.
I was very glad the anesthesiologist showed up when he did as I was just starting to have flash backs to last time of the fear and the feeling that I couldn't keep going. The anesthesiologist had a very odd southernery accent and was super chatty which was a great distraction at the time (though not at all appreciated when he came back to check on me minutes before Jade was born, he didn't know how to take a hint and it took a bit for the doctor and nurse to convince him to leave, I remember yelling in my head, "get him out of here!" as I didn't have the ability to put anything into words at the moment....).
The epidural brought just the right amount of relief. I was really glad the doula warned me on the way to the labour room, that it was still going to be a lot of work even with the epidural. As I was quite far along the pain was lower down in addition to the contractions, the doula explained that the lower down pain is harder to get rid of with a epidural, as an epidural is more effective on contractions. For me I found the epidural kept the edge off, it still felt like I felt EVERYTHING, but I wasn't getting freaked out about it and it wasn't to far over my pain threshold.
I had Jared on one side, and nice calm nurse on the other and the doula who floated around making sure drinks were stocked, held pressure points on my feet when I had the adrenaline shakes, put a hot water bottle on the hip/leg muscle that was ceasing up, got a bowl of cold water and cloths to put on my head or back. In between every contraction I had water or apple juice offered to me and all I had to do was open my mouth and find the straw, so besides being in labour/transition I was border line pampered. The room was dimly lit, and the nurse and doctor were both very quiet. At one point I did open my eyes (most of the time I had them closed) and managed to set eyes on the doctor. She was a smaller, older lady with grey hair and I immediately relaxed when I saw her, not quite sure why, but she just didn't seem to be someone to push things along and that was reassuring.
At some point the doctor did offer to break my water, but we agreed to two more contractions and see where we are at, it ending up being around five contractions as it was going well when she came to check up, she asked again but did make it clear that she didn't need to. I was pretty nervous about the water breaking thing as last time it was broken much earlier and in my mind was one of the reasons Hazel was in distress later on in labour. I was hoping my water would break on it own, but I was basically all the way dilated and had been for a while and it wasn't breaking.... I couldn't quite process everything the Doctor was telling me, so I redirected the question to Jared and as he was asking the Doctor a few other questions I broke my water on the next contraction, which was the most satisfying experience, I must say that I was quite proud of myself!
My water breaking only provided a very short window of relief as baby started moving through the birth canal very soon after, this (in retrospect) was a very interesting sensation that I don't remember feeling at all with Hazel. I definitely hit a few walls along the way here, where I felt that I couldn't go on anymore, but Jared was very good at being calm and encouraging, only talking between contractions, making me open my eyes once and a while and even made me smile/laugh a time or two. Jared also kept reminding me of all the the things that had gone "better than last time" or fears that had been avoided, such as: no snow storm, no induction, we didn't get sent home, my water broke on its own....
The crowing was also an interesting experience, though I'm sure that's not how I would have described it at the time, but that was something else that I didn't experience with Hazel as I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery. Both the doula and nurse were trying to coach me into changing my breathing pattern from long pushes into little puffy breaths, Jared clued in pretty quick that I wasn't processing and started blowing hard puffy breaths right into my face, which I thought was the most irritating thing ever! but ended up being quite effective. Baby Jade was soon born and placed on my chest to be welcomed and cherished! Contractions were still good and strong and I delivered the placenta one or two contractions later without the oxytocin shot, this was one of the weirdest feelings ever that I'm sure I will remember for a while! I had one little tear right by my episiotomy scar that got stitched up, but nothing beyond that.
Very very thankful that I am able to say I had a smooth delivery. Happy that I'm able to write it and share this story, it really shows just how far I have mentally come. Jared kept a timeline/journal throughout the whole labour and we debriefed the whole labour soon after we got to the recovery room, which was so so important! Jared and I were able to pray together after debriefing and I found that I have been able to pray prayers of thanksgiving after a long time of just trusting that God knew my heart.
With this delivery being so different from the last one, I was surprised to find myself forgiving myself for being traumatized last time, which isn't something I thought I needed to do, but it has brought a lot of healing and peace. I found myself change my "tune" from "Trust in Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" to "Taste and see that the Lord is good" .
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